How to set intentions instead of resolutions
We’ve all been there on Dec 31 looking back on the past year and deciding what could be better for the year ahead. But I want to point something out from the start, resolutions imply that there is something to resolve. Something to fix or how you are somehow doing something wrong. When we feel we have done something wrong those emotions of shame, guilt and judgment come along with them. UG!
Often we set drastic intentions of eating better, spending less money, or joining the gym. And for a few weeks at the beginning of January you might do awesome, and then you miss a day or you miss a week and then those judgment, shame and guilt emotions come up and you go back to the old routine.
There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU if you always fail at your resolutions.
Often we set lofty goals and don’t set ourselves up for success. We focus on the doing part, the to-do list item of ‘go to the gym’ and not on how these habits and actions make us feel.
If you focus your intent on what makes you succeed and what makes you feel amazing, then you are much more likely to follow through. We also often focus on the how and if in the moment we don’t know what that looks like, we don’t even try because we don’t know the first step to take.
Let me propose setting intentions instead of resolutions.
Example resolution: Go hiking more.
Example intention: Spend more time in nature to connect with myself and release stress and anxiety.
The resolution is specific, it is based on an action and doesn’t take into account why you are doing it.
The intention is more broad and reminds you how the activity or action brings you joy or helps your day to day mindfullness. The intention could also include activities like meeting a friend in the park or a garden for an afternoon. It isn’t specific to going for a hike. Often if we do an activity different than what we said was the resolution, it doesn’t count. This is our internal perfectionist and ego talking. They are trying to tell you that you failed when in fact you haven’t at all.
So how can you set intentions from resolutions?
Write down the resolution for the next year. For example, go to the gym more.
Ask yourself why you want to go to the gym. It could be to get more active, to move your body more, or to lose a few pounds.
Now ask yourself how will you feel when you achieve that. Gain more confidence, feel happier, feel healthier, meet new people, find people to support your goals.
Now focus on the feelings and write your intention. For example, move my body more to gain confidence and find a new supportive community.
Focusing on how things make you feel when you accomplish them is much more motivating than adding more to your already over-flowing to do lists.
Another thing to remember is to listen to your body and how you are feeling. Some weeks you might not want to go be active because you had a strenuous week. It’s OK to rest. In fact some people might want to add rest to their intentions list.
Use your own intuition and inner guidance to know how many you want to focus on. And you might find through the year the intentions change. Be kind and compassionate with yourself as the year progresses and adjust things to be in line with what you want. These are for YOU, not anyone else. And you wrote them so you are allowed to erase them if something more in aligned pops up for you.
Have an amazing year and if you set some intentions, let me know!
